Film Reviews · New Film Reviews

Lesbian Film Review: Gray Matters [2007]

In my review of Imagine Me and You I said it was a lesbian version of the British rom-com. Gray Matters is the lesbian version of the screwball comedy. Neither of these films is particularly groundbreaking, they’re not going to revolutionize the world. They’re not the world’s best films, but they certainly deserve to do better than they did when they first came out.  

The thing is, the bar for a good lesbian film is set so low that a middling straight film in which no one dies is an amazingly great lesbian one.

Spoiler: no one dies in this film.

I know, I’m amazed too! Quick, rush out and find a copy!

I’m kidding. I know you buy the DVD online. Or stream it. Legally. My point is, I have become so incredibly bored by your stupid lesbian drama, Hollywood, that a film in which happy people have a little back and forth and it’s more than a little contrived and the set up is… strange… counts as a VERY GOOD FILM.

Because realizing you’re gay is not the worst thing in the world and having lesbian feelings does not turn you into a maniac!

On to a review of the actual film: Gray and Sam are a brother and sister who act like the perfect couple; they work in perfect harmony, finish each other’s sentences, enjoy the same films, dance classes, food and… women. Sam finds his perfect mate in Charlie, played by the gorgeous Bridget Moynahan- who, yah, is pretty amazing, and sexy, aside from being one of those awful movie women who doesn’t work out, eats everything and never puts on weight. Yawn.

She’s great but Gray starts to realize she thinks Charlie is more than just ‘great’… dun dun dun! It’s a lighthearted triviality of a lesbian film that is, in many ways, similar to the 1940s movies that our hero and heroine love so much. With fun, fast dialogue, old-fashioned dance numbers and beautiful leads.

I enjoy the film but, let’s be honest, it isn’t amazing. Its convoluted structure, zany side characters and pseudo-emotional evolution aren’t allowing the story to breathe. There’s a very on-the-nose speech when Gray accepts her gayness where she explains she’s not sad because she’s gay, she’s sad because she won’t be able to get married and her partner won’t be respected when she dies. Points for treating gayness as an everyday, ordinary thing rather than a major problem however.

Heather Graham and Thomas Cavanagh as the siblings make a good match but Graham’s stilted line delivery makes an even bigger point of just how strange Gray is- she has to have her coffee in a certain, strange way. She has to have her martini in a certain, strange way. She has to have her hot dog in a certain, strange way. Why? It’s so affected. Half this and half that? Is it supposed to show she’s indecisive? It doesn’t. It’s just weird. And she isn’t indecisive, she’s unaware she’s gay, that’s a very different thing.

The film does a line in unrealistic, sitcom-like characters and scenarios, to the extent that it feels like a feature-length episode of Will & Grace. With the exception of the amazing-as-always Molly Shannon, the other side characters are exceptionally weird. Alan Cumming is unnecessary and Sissy Spacek, as Gray’s shrink, isn’t even laughably bad- she’s just bad. They’re a hindrance to the main plot and a silly distraction. Again, except for Molly Shannon. She’s brilliant.

So, in conclusion: watch this film, it’s funny and sweet, nice from a lesbian point of view but not earth shattering and probably quite irritating if you dislike a screwball comedy.

Food · Grain Free Recipes · Sugar Free Recipes

Amazing, Healthy, Gluten Free Pancakes (with puppy judges!)

I have never been a big supporter of ‘giving something up for lent’. I understand the religious significance behind it but it seems so ingrained in British culture that almost everyone around me has a go- regardless of their faith! It’s become a second chance at those failed January resolutions… with added chocolate denial!

As you know, I’m not one for denying oneself pleasure. Life is hard enough without putting your favourite food on the ‘naughty list’! And boy, I could go on and on about attaching guilt to food!

I don’t believe (unless you’ve taken a page from Mithridates VI’s book and decided to poison yourself every day) that any food is inherently bad. Yes, it is important to eat things full of the goodness and fuel your body needs. Agreed, you probably shouldn’t be eating to excess, especially where fast food is concerned… but that’s because it’s not providing you the vitamins and so on that your body needs, not because it’s innately evil.

I call my recipes ‘healthy’ because they’re versions of fun foods that also bring you yummy vitamins and good balances of what your body needs. But don’t get too hung up on it! Eat these, and some fruit, and maybe move around a bit. Done.

Back to pancakes: I ruddy love them!

Pancakes are excellent and easy whatever time of day you’re eating them. But goodness are they a breakfast delight! Whether they be the thick, fluffy kind or the thin, light kind, as long as they’re sugar and grain free there isn’t a pancake I don’t like.

For this year’s pancake day I’ve challenged myself to create three new types of pancake and you can see the results below!

Well, we certainly thought a lot of those!

Remember, as always, just because the recipes are gluten free, sugar free and lactose free doesn’t meant they HAVE to be that way. If you want to sub in regular cows milk, cane sugar, coconut sugar, powdered fructose or even white flour then go right ahead.

All of the recipes can also be made without eggs using either flax eggs or a powdered substitute but they will (especially number 1!) be quite a bit flatter.

Let me know how you get on with making these pancakes!

 

Paleo Fluffy Pancakes

 


3 tbsp coconut flour

2 tbsp sweetener

½ tsp baking powder

½ tsp sea salt

3 large egg whites

1 tbsp apple sauce or yogurt

1/3 cup dairy free milk

½ tsp vanilla extract

Sift dry ingredients into a large bowl

Add wet ingredients except for egg whites. Mix well

Whisk egg whites in a separate bowl until stiff

All egg whites to first bowl, fold ingredients together

Put pan on low/med heat

Cook for 2/3 mins either side

Put a lid on top of your pan as they cook to help puff up the pancakes.

Notes

These thick, fluffy pancakes are low carb, paleo and full of protein! Whilst they’re based on egg whites and coconut flour you can substitute them as noted above.

Remember to always add wet ingredients to dry; create a well in the dry ingredients, pull dry over wet.

These pancakes are delicious when served with berries, especially raspberries!

 

No Carb Pancakes

 


2 eggs

55g lactofree cream cheese

½ cup sweetener

½ tsp vanilla

Blend all ingredients together in blender

Allow to stand until bubbles have dissipated

Heat coconut oil in pan

Cook until golden brown either side

Notes

I use lactofree cream cheese but any cream cheese will work.

I would advise using a blender or NutriBullet but you can mix by hand provided you ensure everything is completely blended.

Serve with a squeeze of lemon for yummy, crepe-like goodness!

 

Clean Eating Pancakes

 

1 ripe banana

2 eggs

1tsp cinnamon

1 tsp vanilla extract

Mash

Mix

Cook

Eat

Done!

Notes

These are definitely the easiest pancakes to make of the bunch! Although they’re paleo, grain free and sugar free they aren’t low carb.

If you find the mixture is too thin then add a tablespoon of the flour of your choice or even protein powder.

 

Classical Film Reviews · Film Reviews

Classical Film Review: Dad’s Army [1971]

Dad’s Army once held- and perhaps still does- the crown of Britain’s favourite sitcom. This film is much a prequel, outlining how the small seaside town of Walmington-on-Sea’s inept Home Guard was brought together, with the indomitable Mainwaring making sure he is the Captain of the platoon. When put on manoeuvres by a visiting Major-General, the men manage to bungle one task after another… but when a group of Germans from a scout plane take the Mayor hostage at the church hall, can the group save the day?!

… did you not hear me describe them as ‘inept’?

Cinematic spin-offs of popular wireless programmes first appeared in the 1930s with the BBC’s Band Wagon although they remained a rarity. After Hammer Horror adapted BBC classic The Quatermass Experiment for the cinema in 1953, there was more of a take-up- although it was slow.

Film adaptations were, at this time, star vehicles for comedians and comic actors, much as the TV shows themselves had been. However, the commercial success of two mid-60s Doctor Who films told producers that audiences were willing to pay big bucks to see their small screen heroes in colour. They were also happy to pay to see more ‘adult’ scenes inserted into the normally family friendly world of primetime viewing. Dad’s Army’s humour is gentle with the odd saucy line. It’s comfortable family friendly viewing with enough parts that go over children’s heads.

Expanding a sitcom into a feature film is often cheaper to produce- its pre-familiarity to the audience cuts down on the advertising budget and the stories are based around small-room situations, even if the location of the room changes. The greatest benefit of these low-budget blockbusters is that they preserve popular television series and introduce modern audiences to great old TV shows. The pace of these films is also much, much faster than that of the old sitcoms, which helps it appeal to modern audiences more used to bang-bang-bang than bang…

bang… bang…

Having been made whilst the original cast was still alive, the film is a record of an excellent ensemble. The national pride in the real people these actors represent is as deeply felt as the well-intentioned mocking of them. Although, in all honesty, the plot resembles merely three episodes smooshed together- as excellent as those episodes may be!

Haven’t got into the TV show yet? You can start with this film!