Some of my favourite things that I got in November 2016: from clothes to Christmas decorations! Do you own any of these items? Watch the video down bellow and let me know in the comments what do you think!
For more information on my november favourites you can visit the following links:
Of all the videos on my YouTube channel the one below has to be in my top 5 favourites. Not only because thinking back over my disastrous dating history is always hilarious (seriously, I could write a very honest book about it but bookshops would only ever put it in the ‘comedy’ section!) but also because so many people contacted me afterwards to say they’d had exactly the same experiences or shared it on Facebook with ‘same’ or ‘this is my life’.
Obviously dating is never an easy thing- if it were the multi billion pound singles industry wouldn’t exist!- but dating when you’re disabled or have a long-term illness is beyond awful! Thankfully I am now off the market; two and a half years I didn’t even know she existed, now we’re married, own a house and two gorgeous dogs! True love exists!
But in my experience all too often people I went on dates with would fall into two categories:
The ‘Oh My God, I Would Kill Myself’ Girls
Yes, someone did actually once say that to me on a first date… Funnily enough we didn’t have a second. These are the people who feel that disabilities really should be listed alongside your picture on a dating website. Preferably with a flashing neon sign and a screaming warning siren. They will slowly back out of a really great date if they get the merest hint something is ‘off’ about you. Sensitivity is not their deal. It’s understandable, they probably just haven’t come across someone with a disability or long term illness before.
The ‘Let Me Do That For You’ Girls
Everything you do is ‘inspiring’ or ‘amazing’, the fact you get out of bed in the morning is to be applauded. Ok, I can’t lie, that is rather nice for a while… but gosh, does it get old quickly! This girl will immediately find you a chair and make sure you never have to get up for a drink. They’ll repeat whatever is said around you very sloooowly and cleeeearly. Don’t mistake me, that’s all very helpful, but the person you’re dating should be your equal. It’s difficult to date someone if they think you are an adorable cute thing that needs to be taken care of like a little fluffy bunny.
My 10 Worst Dates
So, without further ado: My 10 Worst Dates! Not all of these are disabled-related and one of them I’m pretty sure was a serial killer in training but they are all terrible.
I know.
I know.
It’s… not good.
There are exceptions of course and I’m married to one! I knew she was the girl for me when, two weeks after we met, she came to pick me up from work, noticed I was on crutches (when I hadn’t been that morning) and didn’t bat an eyelid.
She doesn’t mother me but she also doesn’t push me to my absolute limit in that awful way some people do. Yes, it’s important for independence to do as much as I can- but that doesn’t mean I should! There is no shame in asking for help and no shame in preserving energy for important things later on.
Now please, do chime in below with your experiences- what’s it like dating men? And is it harder to get a date if you’re a disabled man?
As everyone who watches my film reviews knows… I am a big fan of a happy ending and a sucker for happiness in general. Unsurprisingly, my favourite (and much loved) lesbian film is therefore Imagine Me & You. Here is that rare thing: a lesbian film, without unnecessary angst, that is actually charming and cheering to watch.
We open in picture-perfect London on the day of Rach’s wedding to her longtime boyfriend and best friend Heck (played by Piper Perabo and Matthew Goode). Everyone is there; friends, family and even the wedding’s florist Luce (played by Lena Headey). By the end of the reception, Luce has been taken up by Rach’s family, particularly her baby sister, and is becoming fast friends with the bride herself…
And thus we begin a rather-sweet romcom love triangle as Rachel quickly falls for the openly gay Luce. It’s a classic set up, minus the tired and unrealistic ‘comical’ misunderstandings but plus one of the rarest things- a central gay relationship that is positively presented. Despite the relationship starting with one of the women already being married to a man! The ‘already married issue’ is resolved incredibly quickly despite it being the main tension in the film. Interestingly most people involved seem perfectly okay with Rach falling in love with someone else, and leaving her marriage because that ‘someone’ is a girl.
I’m sure we could read very deeply into this, perhaps write some essays about masculinity and how two women being together seems to be considered as sexy in a humorous way. It’s an abstract (Cooper’s jokes and Rach’s mishaps with the porn video) but sweet and unsexed when it’s up close: “[Love] is all that matters”… It doesn’t necessarily respect the same sex relationship since it’s unlikely these characters would react in such a way were it a man Rach was running off with. However: I do think that this doesn’t have to stand in the way of enjoying the film.
Yes, the drama isn’t heart wrenching and, yes, the characters are a little too lovely but it’s a solid British romcom in the Love Actually vein. It’s sweet, it’s bland, it’s heartwarming, and that’s why, to me, it’s one of the best lesbian films of all time.
Here is a lesbian film about a life I want to lead, a wholly realistic one that I identify strongly with. Yes, certain characters are shocked when Rach comes out (mainly her mother, played by the fabulous Celia Imrie) but no one is at any point openly homophobic. Darren Boyd, as Heck’s friend Cooper, makes all of the cringy, sexist, but not intentionally rude, remarks about lesbians that we’ve all heard a hundred times. But he is only angry at his best friend being hurt by someone else entering the marriage, not because that someone is a woman.
No one dies, no one commits suicide, no one self harms, or tries to shoot someone- like the majority of lesbian films (ie. cliché central). There are also no titillating lesbian scenes clearly created for the pleasure of anyone but lesbians.
The film was written and directed by Ol Parker, also known for The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, about old-age Britishness being shipped to India, and this film too comes straight from the Richard Curtis school of positivity and charm.
Not everyone experiences being gay and coming out as a big trauma, which- lets me honest- both indie films and Hollywood seem to want us to believe. It’s nice to know that there are films out there that show the other side. This is a nice film about two nice girls who meet and fall in love with a little narrative complication that is easily resolved. There are thousands of nice, happy films about straight couples- don’t lesbians deserve one too?
As everyone who watches my film reviews knows… I am a big fan of a happy ending and a sucker for happiness in general. Unsurprisingly, my favourite (and much loved) lesbian film is therefore 
I’m sure we could read very deeply into this, perhaps write some essays about masculinity and how two women being together seems to be considered as sexy in a humorous way. It’s an abstract (Cooper’s jokes and Rach’s mishaps with the porn video) but sweet and unsexed when it’s up close: “[Love] is all that matters”… It doesn’t necessarily respect the same sex relationship since it’s unlikely these characters would react in such a way were it a man Rach was running off with. 