Here are my tips and reviews for products that will help you create a relaxed vintage look. No twenty step processes, stupidly expensive products or looks that require ten different brushes for one eyebrow.

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Skin

I have very clear skin, rarely get spots and when I do it’s at most two at my peak hormonal time. What fancy cream or cleanser do I use? It’s called ‘water’. I’m not kidding.

My mother taught me that ‘beauty comes from within’- literally: drink lots of water, don’t eat too much sugar, wash your face. To be honest, this is most likely because she is a no nonsense woman who cannot be bothered with putting anything on her face other than a bit of red lipstick for special occasions. I would add ‘avoid too much alcohol’ but my mother pours herself a glass at 6pm on the dot daily and her skin glows with radiance from the fountain of youth.

Other top tips from my mother: no one else cares about your wrinkles or your spots. All creams are the same it’s just the jars that are different. Don’t put weird things on your face. Trust only two brands. Take your make up off every night or you’ll shrivel up and die…

The last one is just because if you leave make up marks on her pillows she will HUNT YOU DOWN.

That’s not a joke. Don’t do it.

Personally I credit my smooth skin to a childhood of extreme eczema. If you thought I was bragging about having good skin then please see the photo below:

Yes, that’s me as a baby with eczema on my eyelids. I was born that way and it’s a miracle my parents kept me around. I was allergic to the world: artificial perfumes, natural perfumes, dogs, cats, small fluffy things, animals in general, trees, flowers, grass, the great outdoors… hairy caterpillars.

After the trauma of spending my formative years avoiding lace, perfume, ribbons, wool, artificial fibers, small fluffy things, shampoo, bubble bath, face paint, hair spray and mud (although that’s not an allergy, I just hated baths and the easiest way to avoid them was not get dirty), I’m very conscious about what I put on my face.

Which is funny because I use the one thing every make up artist has told me to avoid: make-up wipes! Dun, dun, dun. On the days that I wear make up, generally 4 days a week, I get into bed in the evenings use a wipe to remove my make up and then I just… go to sleep. No 10 step routine or complicated series of creams. I only use fragrance free wipes from Simple or . It’s that easy. If I deviate from that then I start to see skin care problems: one or two spots or even the dreaded facial eczema!

When it comes to make up I’m just as careful and loyal to the nth degree. Not only do I stick to the same type, I keep to the exact brand and shade… which can be a problem when companies change their formulas or discontinue things. Thus, I think it’s time to start challenging myself, broadening my horizons and possibly trying some of those dreaded creams and skin care routines magazines tell me are vitally important to stop my face falling off the second I hit 30 (Friday 25th January 2019, if you want to set an alarm).

Oh yes, I’m going to start trying new things and I’m taking you with me for moral support! Along the way I’ll also fill you in on the products I’ve been using for the last bazillion years and show you a few tutorials… because, after all, if a girl with no fine motor skills and atrophied hand muscles can do it, there’s a high chance you can too!

Alternative Titles

Beauty for girls who don’t do make up

Make up for those who don’t do beauty

Honest beauty

2 thoughts on “No Nonsense Beauty: Tips from a girl who cleans her face with water”

  1. Yes! This is something I’m super excited for. Because unlike yours, my skin is less than perfect. I just feel like it’s dirty all the time, no matter what I do, which is why I usually don’t use make-up at all. So your tips are going to be much appreciated!

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