I’m very conscious, when I tell people stories about my life, that I don’t want to come off as angry or negative, or sad. Because those really aren’t emotions that I relate to my own life experience.

Yes, some of the things that have happened to me can seem a little… weird… (I have a nerve condition. I had a migraine. It pressed on a nerve and now I’m blind in this eye) But I’m still genuinely surprised when people have big ‘oh my god!’ reactions. I’m even surprised when something big and new happens- like an internal organ decides it’s not going to play ball and just won’t work properly, thus leading to four weeks of hospital visits and being ill- when that happens, and the people around me act like it’s a big deal. “Oh, really? You’re not used to this yet?”

It might sound odd but I don’t really… care. That isn’t to say that at one point I didn’t cry over those things, that they didn’t deeply upset me and shake my self-confidence. Perhaps I might come off as a little too blasé.

It’s just that… I don’t like to carry around negative feelings. I feel them. I let them go. I get on with life. What I do take with me are all of the good, wonderful things I see in the world. Small things like people helping others or adorable children or that feeling when my girlfriend comes home and our dog is ridiculously happy to see her.

… which, come to think of it, probably shouldn’t be a positive. He is never that happy to see me! He is very cute though:

How else is it possible to deal with the next problem that comes up? Really serious problems… like your hair not being pretty.

On a macro level; yes, life is scary and the world is unequal and we have so, so far to go in terms of building an equal and fair society. But if we don’t focus on the micro positives and take those around with us, then how can we protect ourselves and stay strong in order to combat the next problem?

Being positive is self-care. It’s putting your own oxygen mask on first.

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